Outside of marriage
 You
might be thinking, "Okay, but what will happen to me if I do have
sex outside of marriage?"
Whether we realise it or not, sex is saying to someone "I love you, I give my whole self to you alone, this love will be forever and I want to share children with you". When sex is honestly expressing what it means, then it is a truly great experience.
Saying something that's not true
Outside of marriage however, sex is speaking a lie with your body. When it is outside of marriage, the body language of sex doesn't change. Its inherent meaning of "I give myself to you forever" doesn't change. It still attempts to communicate all of those exclusive and loving aspects of a faithful marriage - but it can't!
Sex outside of marriage tricks your heart into thinking that you have already given yourself to this person, forever. It's saying something which isn't true. It might feel good for a few moments, but that pleasure will soon be gone and your heart will be left yearning for more. It will be longing for something more, something permanent.
The emotional bond that is formed during sex creates problems outside of marriage when the relationship breaks up. Although the bond is good for marriage, before marriage this bond causes emotional havoc, making a normal break-up much more painful.
Not a loving thing to do
Before marriage, sex isn't the answer to finding love and happiness in our lives. Pleasure and intimacy might be there, but there will always be parts of the expression that are false. It will always be a frustrated expression of what it's meant to be - married love.
And married love means exclusive love and a level of intimacy which is for no one else. When you do get married, you want to be able to say to your spouse:
"You are the only one I've been this close to. Only you know me this intimately. I reveal myself completely to you. There is no other person I have shared this experience with. You can trust me. I see you completely and I will always love and accept you for who you are."
Saving sex for marriage means that this is what you can say when you find the one and choose to get married. Outside of marriage, you have no way of knowing for sure that this is the person you will marry. At the back of your mind, both of you will know that the other is able to leave the relationship at any time.
Sexual relationships outside of marriage leave a lot of people feeling used, hurt and lonely. It leaves us with a feeling that something is missing. Our deep desire for real love isn't satisfied, because our heart knows that real love is always whole and true.
Sex outside of marriage also exposes the person you care about to many risks of getting hurt - physically, emotionally and spiritually. That's not a loving thing to do.
So what is the loving thing to do?
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